Why didn't you Just accept hair loss?

[duchaine]

On 7/19/2024 at 9:10 AM, BaldReaper said:

Didnt like looking 45 when I was 25

I love to look like 38 when I am 45 😂😂😂

[davidn]

1 minute ago, Berba11 said:

Careful, or @Matthiaswill give you a thumbs down for pointing out that 2+2=4...

But you're right. His comment is mental. That said, I should probably tell my NW7 Dad - a father of four and grandfather of two - that actually he's "destined for a life of loneliness" despite his entire life's experience to the contrary. I guess I should also go and investigate whether my partner of 12 years is actually a figment of my imagination given I had significant hair loss when we [allegedly] first met.

Well, I have a mixed view on this subject. It is obviously not the romantic death sentence he made it out to be.

At the same time, I believe we should not ridicule the personal experiences people make when dealing with baldness.

I personally received some pretty harsh comments by random people or dates when balding significantly. I really tried to work on my attitude, own it, focus on character development, radically accept it, therapy, Meditation and I actually had fairly good success in many other areas and lived a really cool life, but the treatment of other people still hurt me, cause frankly I was just a young guy that didn't do anything wrong. Now, I laughed it off, but it still hurt me.

This radically changed after my transplant, even though I was the same person. Now, you could say that I could have laughed it off, these people are not worth worrying about, etc. But it was still really hurtful.

So what I am trying to say is we should not deny people their subjective experience too. Because I think that If we do, guys just stop talking about their feelings to play it tough. As we see in @SeekingStubblecomment. And I had plenty of guys that initially told me its Not a big deal, they Just shaved etc but later told me in private how hard the experience was for them. And I think if guys are not honest, this sort of puts pressure on other guys to "man up and shave it".

I hope I got through what I meant, English is not my first language.

 

[davidn]

3 minutes ago, davidn said:

Well, I have a mixed view on this subject. It is obviously not the romantic death sentence he made it out to be.

At the same time, I believe we should not ridicule the personal experiences people make when dealing with baldness.

I personally received some pretty harsh comments by random people or dates when balding significantly. I really tried to work on my attitude, own it, focus on character development, radically accept it, therapy, Meditation and I actually had fairly good success in many other areas and lived a really cool life, but the treatment of other people still hurt me, cause frankly I was just a young guy that didn't do anything wrong. Now, I laughed it off, but it still hurt me.

This radically changed after my transplant, even though I was the same person. Now, you could say that I could have laughed it off, these people are not worth worrying about, etc. But it was still really hurtful.

So what I am trying to say is we should not deny people their subjective experience too. Because I think that If we do, guys just stop talking about their feelings to play it tough. As we see in @SeekingStubblecomment. And I had plenty of guys that initially told me its Not a big deal, they Just shaved etc but later told me in private how hard the experience was for them. And I think if guys are not honest, this sort of puts pressure on other guys to "man up and shave it".

I hope I got through what I meant, English is not my first language.

 

That being said thanks for giving this forum sanity checks every once in a while @Berba11.

[Doron Harati]

Because I am a huge glam metal 80's fan!
I am myself a drummer musician so I always wanted to look like these bands with all the babes:

 

[anon493]

5 hours ago, davidn said:

Brother, go visit the city center. Look at the couples holding hands. You will notice there are plenty of bald guys with beautiful girlfriends.

Maybe if they are older men with older women you are right.

But if your in your 20s or 30s and balding its literally over. Young women 18-20 only go after good looking men and if you are bald you won't ever get a young girlfriend. 

[Berba11]

17 minutes ago, anon493 said:

Maybe if they are older men with older women you are right.

But if your in your 20s or 30s and balding its literally over. Young women 18-20 only go after good looking men and if you are bald you won't ever get a young girlfriend. 

None of this is true. If you're repelling women and giving them the ick it's because of your personality, not your hair. These views are archaic and bordering on anti-women sentiment, which maybe isn't the kind of thing you want to be hinting at in light of your claimed legal issue.

If you think there's no balding blokes in their 20's & 30's having success with the ladies then you've got a serious reality problem. I'm somewhat inclined to believe that your posts are intended to be some kind of satire on incel cultures.

Edited 2 hours ago by Berba11

[Matthias]

58 minutes ago, Berba11 said:

If you think there's no balding blokes in their 20's & 30's having success with the ladies then you've got a serious reality problem.

Very true, in fact young women love a guy with a neat hairpiece.

[Berba11]

4 minutes ago, Matthias said:

Very true, in fact young women love a guy with a neat hairpiece.

99.9% of balding men aren't rocking wigs, and for good reasons; buzzcuts, shorter styles or clean shaves look better and convey a self-confidence that a wig simply does not. Your sarcasm falls flat on its face given it's predicated on a straw man; I haven't argued anyone is particularly attracted to the idea of a wig or advocated for the use of them (I think they look naff personally and you need the personality to pull it off, but to each their own).

Last time I checked this forum wasn't an online gathering for incels and scarcely-veiled misogynists, but maybe I missed a memo somewhere...

And just to be clear here... You're falling on the side of the argument of the incel who claims to be facing charges for sex offences? That's some hill to die on.

 

[Matthias]

3 minutes ago, Berba11 said:

And just to be clear here... You're falling on the side of the argument of the incel who claims to be facing charges for sex offences? That's some hill to die on.

I think him and I are more in touch and capable of analysing the generation Z as we both are probably significantly younger than you are, and yes he's entirely correct with regards to this age group. You might somehow get along up to NW3 but it’s certainly an uphill battle.

[anon493]

1 hour ago, Berba11 said:

If you're repelling women and giving them the ick it's because of your personality, not your hair.

That's very bluepill 

The fact is women only go for the top 5% of men 

Here

if your bald in your 20s and 30s it's literally over for you unless you have a Chad jawline and a god like headshape. And that's ONLY if you are extremely muscular and tall. 

 

[Berba11]

9 minutes ago, Matthias said:

I think him and I are more in touch and capable of analysing the generation Z as we both are probably significantly younger than you are, and yes he's entirely correct with regards to this age group. You might somehow get along up to NW3 but it’s certainly an uphill battle.

I'm in my 30's, which is one half of the age group you both refer to, and my sibling are all in their 20's as are several friends. Don't mistake factually incorrect limiting beliefs that you hold for some kind of objective analysis.

[Berba11]

59 minutes ago, anon493 said:

That's very bluepill 

The fact is women only go for the top 5% of men 

 

It's not blue pill. Maybe you've not had enough conversations with women or absorbed enough women-led content to know differently. Do you have sisters? Female friends? Have you had many relationships of any kind with women be it romantically or or otherwise? Women tend to pick up on when there's something "off" with a bloke almost instantly.

Define "top 5%" of men. What does one need to be or have in order to make the cut in this illustrious, elite group?

59 minutes ago, anon493 said:

Here

Finally, we got there. I was waiting for someone to share something like this and its a textbook illustration of how confirmation bias works. Dating apps put the vast majority of men at a disadvantage as they have the effect of levelling the playing field or even tilting the dating market back into women's favour (theoretically speaking). Prior to dating apps, in order for women to find partners they needed to be approached in real life; work colleagues, bars & clubs, cafes, parties, an introduction through a friend etc... Until very, very recently it's always been the case that men make the first move. That's just a somewhat natural social dynamic as women are primarily attracted to confidence first and foremost. Apps increasingly do this the other way round now where interactions only occur when women decide. The disadvantage for blokes on apps is twofold: way, way more competition for places (it requires zero display of confidence to attempt to initiate a convo on an app) and as I've hinted: how to do you display confidence on an app? Not so easy. So in the absence of much else to go by apps will somewhat become a looks contest which is why it theoretically favours women and can initially disadvantage less attractive blokes. But once you get off the apps all the normal rules apply; dating apps temporarily tamper with the more natural order of things but only temporarily. 

So yes, if your entire dating life is beholden to apps then that's a hurdle whether you have hair or not. You can be very conventionally good looking and bald or ugly with great hair. You'll have the same challenge. Point being, it's not about the hair. If all you've ever known is dating apps then like I've been saying from the start... Your data and experiences are limited and flawed.

59 minutes ago, anon493 said:

if your bald in your 20s and 30s it's literally over for you unless you have a Chad jawline and a god like headshape. And that's ONLY if you are extremely muscular and tall. 

My entire frontal third was gone by 22 more or less, I do not have a "chad jawline" or a "god-like headshape" (whatever that is). I'm also not muscular and I'm 5ft7" & average looking. Never had any problems with women and my partner who I met in real life is far, far better looking than I (as everyone is very keen to point out to me!). I'd likely not have fared too well had we crossed paths on an app but that's the nature of apps, it's not the nature of male/female dynamics. A good friend of mine that was nicknamed Shrek in school (he does, in all honestly, look like Shrek) married an insanely hot Ukrainian pole dance teacher that he met outside a coffee shop in Oxford (if it weren't completely inappropriate I'd share her business instagram page!). He'd have had no hope whatsoever on an app - they'd probably have never met. And it's not as though he's particularly charismatic and certainly not athletic... They just hit it off and had natural chemistry (probably helped that they both studied bio-chemistry at University).

My entire social circle are in their 20's and 30's. With the exception of two or three off the top of my head who have virtually no hair loss, all of them have varying levels of hair loss including NW5 & 6's, and all of them are either married, in relationships, have kids from past relationships or are single but have never had any dating issues. Basically the full range of what you would expect to find among a group of normal, social, fairly well rounded blokes who don't possess personality traits that repel women and don't hold beliefs about themselves or women that wouldn't look out of place in a Jake Davison manifesto.

EDIT:

Oh, and not that I'd ever advocate trash reality TV as having much if any educational value, but one of the more interesting reality TV shows around is Love is Blind. If nothing else, the show does a very good job of showing that as a minimum, attraction is blind, and indeed the ability to develop feelings for another person that sit somewhere on the spectrum between attraction and love sight unseen. The reason the show is simultaneously uninteresting is because literally everybody of sound mind already knows this! 

Edited 20 minutes ago by Berba11

[duchaine]

1 hour ago, anon493 said:

That's very bluepill 

The fact is women only go for the top 5% of men 

Here

if your bald in your 20s and 30s it's literally over for you unless you have a Chad jawline and a god like headshape. And that's ONLY if you are extremely muscular and tall. 

 

I have always had a recessed hairline.

i am 175 cm (average height in Italy)

I had hundreds of woman.

recently I stayed with some jaw dropping models in their early 20s.

i take medications and had 2 hair transplant for myself.

my dating life didn’t change.

so I agree with barba: stop finding execuses for your unsuccessful dating life.