Difficulty accepting hair transplant

[joe234]

Hello,

I'm at two years since my transplant and have had a really difficult time accepting it. I'm in therapy which helps for sure but I keep backsliding mental health wise whenever I make progress.

The best I can describe is I had somewhere between a Norwood 3 and 4 situation going on just in the front. After giving finasteride time to stabilize and looking at a lot of testimonials, I thought a transplant was the best idea.

For my transplant I kept the front where the point of the widow's peak ended (still a little high) and connected sideways and slightly down to the temples on the recommendation of my surgeon. My thinking was better too high than too low.

After waiting the full year for recovery and trying out lots of hair styles, I still wear a hat almost everywhere. Some friends and coworkers have only ever seen me in a hat. 

If I buzz it short the pattern is too spikey with individual hairs pointing at obviously unnatural angles. If I buzz it as short as possible the pattern issue is lessened but the raised scarring from the surgery shows.

If I let it grow long and swoop some to the right side, sunlight or bright lights shine right though to my scalp about half the time. 

A medium length brushed forward would almost work except that without the length for my right side swoop the hair parts at the thinnest part of the transplant showing scalp.

Wearing the front up with medium length makes the high hairline look great in a vanity mirror but in real world lighting the front of the hair still let's you see straight through deep into my scalp. Maybe that would work if the shape was a Norwood 1 but the high super straght/ high hairline doesn't look natural being so thin.

I tried hair fibers in that extra thin part with medium hair but under bright light it's easy to see that I'm trying to cover that up. There's just a strangely dark amorphous splotch in otherwise thin hair.

At this point I have less confidence than before I had a transplant because I feel I can't wear it any way that doesn't advertise to the world that my hair is transplanted. 

I wish I hadn't done it but I want a way forward with my life.

I don't expect anyone to have a magic answer, I just need somewhere to explain my experience with this.

[Berba11]

It would be useful to see some pictures so we can establish whether there is a genuine technical issue with your HT, or whether it's actually a good HT and your difficulties are a result of your mind playing insidious tricks on you. If it's the former we could advise solutions, and if it's the latter it may help to put your mind at ease to some degree. Win win, I suppose.

[Berba11]

So I've just seen your thread from a year ago and your HT looks fantastic! Very natural (as far as the slightly blurry pictures reveal!). A few points:

11 minutes ago, joe234 said:

(still a little high)

No it isn't. Your hairline is placed in a very appropriate place and is clearly comfortably within the parameters required for aesthetic framing of the face. You would get precisely ZERO benefit, aesthetically, from having a lower hairline. This has been shown time and time again on this forum with patients who end up getting corrective surgery to take their hairline back up again. I'm starting that very process myself next week (two or three surgeries required). You will never have this issue because your hairline was perfectly placed first time around. It will also continue to look brilliant as you age - you've nailed it! Who was your surgeon?

14 minutes ago, joe234 said:

If I let it grow long and swoop some to the right side, sunlight or bright lights shine right though to my scalp about half the time. 

Literally no one else notices this. We only notice this when we look at pictures in unfavourable lighting through phones that never quite capture what the eye sees in the flesh. Nevertheless, HT's can be exposed in photos when the lighting is harsh. But never in real life really, and your hair looks great with good density. You're massively exaggerating the extent of this issue.

17 minutes ago, joe234 said:

the hair parts at the thinnest part of the transplant showing scalp.

Scalp is not the devil. Everyone's scalp shows when the hair is parted and people with good head's of hair will show a little scalp, too. All normal and nothing to worry about. Did you expect to go through life without ever showing a little bit of scalp? And what happens if someone sees a bit of your scalp? You aren't going to burst into flames. You won't lose your voice. It's fine!

19 minutes ago, joe234 said:

I can't wear it any way that doesn't advertise to the world that my hair is transplanted. 

Here you seem to have it in your mind that the general public are really clued in to what a HT looks like. They absolutely do not. No one on earth would notice you've had a HT because you've had a very nice, natural restoration. I can spot a HT and I wouldn't know you'd had one. There are people walking around with genuinely dodgy HT's and most people think they look great. You see it in comment sections of YT videos all the time. I even know two people in real life, both of whom had dodgy transplants, but everyone else thinks they're brilliant! Literally no one is noticing your HT, and even if they did... once again... so what? My own HT is not perfect (hence having some corrective work), but I've only had overwhelmingly positive feedback from people.

Would it be fair to say you've hidden the fact that you've had a HT from the vast majority of people? Because if you have then I can totally see why you might end up getting in your own head about it and thinking that "people are noticing!" and other false paranoia. You honestly have nothing to worry about and I'm keen to know who performed the surgery because it looks like they did a very nice job indeed.

[Rawkerboi]

I completely agree with @Berba11 he has explained it in depth.

I saw your pictures and let me tell you, your HT is quite natural. Your problem is not HT but its the mental part. You need to accept that no HT can bring your Teenage Hair back to your scalp. HT is illusion of hair. Most of the guys, jump into HT thinking they will get their natural Hair back which is just not possible.

A HT is not one done procedure sometimes we need to get another procedure to get that required density.

No matter how good a HT is, harsh light will always expose it. It's important to realize that Harsh light won't always be with you in real life. After HT you need to fix one Hair Style that suits you. A good Hair Stylist can definitely help you and with little help from Clay Wax or Sea Salt Spray you are good to go mate.

You need to stop wearing hats at your workplace. Your hair is much better and it's a crime that you're hiding it under your hat. I thought you were botched but after looking at your pictures i am quite shocked regarding your difficulty in accepting your HT.

Life is much bigger than hair, and you have indeed won this battle.

[AB2000]

You didn't understand what the result of a normal HT would be, going into it.  One of the hard parts of being a surgeon are patients being unreasonable with their expectations.

[baddecisions]

According to the pictures you uploaded months ago, your result seems good. But we all know pictures can tell one thing and the other depending on too many factors (light, hair lenght, hairstyle, angle, distance, overall quality/resolution...). It would be great if you could upload more pictures, highlighting your areas of concern.

Instead of blaming Joe and characterizing him as "unreasonable" as said above, let's try to help.

[harryforreal]

19 hours ago, joe234 said:

"If I buzz it as short as possible the pattern issue is lessened but the raised scarring from the surgery shows."

Consult a doctor trained in micro-needling.  

I used 2 different types of micro-needling to reduce the "chicken skin" texture following my procedures, and it made a big difference.

[joe234]

Thank you for taking the time to consider what I posted. Its very helpful to talk to people with experience.

Here are some photos for reference.

I tried a mohawk out of frustration with how thin it is on the sides (the transplant area). That was a mistake because of the scarring so at least I know it will be better than that as it grows in. As shown in the photos one side is thinner than the other and it makes it hard to style. All the photos except the one with green in the background are from the side I don't feel great about because it is thinner and has more scarring when buzzed short.

I am trying to find a balance between too short (scarring, odd pattern) and too long (looks thinner the longer it grows)